While I was training for my competition…
- I ate at regular intervals,
- no snacking in between and
- I didn’t eat till I was stuffed
- My food was portioned and
- going back for seconds was not an option.
Now post-comp, the world became a giant buffet table. I was allowed to eat as I pleased. Unrestricted. I didn’t gorge, but hey, nothing was off-limits. I ate till I was satisfied and recently noticed that I have picked up the habit of hovering in front of the pantry. Nothing appealing to me I walk away, but the problem is that I was hovering in the first place.
I need to remember my new rules and habits and not let myself forget them! If I let go, it will be a downward spiral and before I know it I will be looking in the mirror asking how I let that happen.
What I learned to tell myself: You worked so hard for those good habits! Post-comp, don’t let go altogether!
I’ll stop those sprouting bad habits in their tracks! Met with my trainer for a new nutrition game plan – here we go!
“How much do you weigh?” that question has NEVER scared me. Until today.
My trainer asked me how much I weighed in at on Monday. Monday…the day after I “improvised” for a whole weekend because I was low on groceries.
After I confessed my weight and what I did, she did not say “it’s ok, just pick yourself back up and get back on track”. She did not say “don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing great” or “you’ve got time”. She was kind with her choice of words, but there was no doubt she laid it to me straight.
I cannot cheat. 5 weeks will go by quick and I will be standing next to girls who have done this for years…they know what they’re doing. I can’t let myself think I will be up against other newbies.
My mom just left to go back to the Philippines and before she left she said, “Don’t let all your hard work go to waste by binging on a cracker.” 🙂
I want to do this for everyone who believes in me and has supported me. I want to even do this for my trainer, Susan Groshek! Everyone has been cheering me on and I feel like this past week I failed them all by indulging in a series of momentary pleasures. How dare I! I will honor them and the hard work I’ve invested since Aug 16 and I will be 100%! A REAL 100%, not the figurative speech kind…the REAL “I-am-giving-it-literally-everything-I’ve-got” 100%.
I feel 100% focused and motivated but mixed with feelings of guilt – I’m having a hard time dealing with the guilt of messing up. I feel like I have already failed. But this is a bad attitude. I need to stop looking behind me and press on, but it’s so hard to not hate myself for sabotaging my potential on stage.
Things to keep in check:
- My walk with God – with all this focus & dedication on the competition I cannot let myself be distracted from my purpose in life.
- Nutrition Plan – eat my meals timely and perfectly (weigh/measure), no deviations!
- Vitamins & supps
- Training – rest less, go heavy
- Cardio – push myself harder each session
- Water intake – get it all in!
- Sleep – come on girl, 7 hours+. Get it!
Eating the same thing every day is sometimes hard when you really really really just want a burger today, but most days I can go through the day’s food fairly mindlessly.
Working out consistently has become the norm, but cardio bleh…if it is a cardio-only day I have a tough time getting out the door. Sweat pants are my cryptonite along with pizza. Once I put on sweat pants…I’m begging anyone who will listen to tell me it’s ok to stay home. Pizza I found out is the one food that I cannot resist.
Things I worry about
- I worry that I will become over obsessed with practicing my smile or my stance in the mirror
- donning a bikini for my trainer, Susan Groshek, so she can tell me how much I need to bust my butt in the final weeks
- rebounding badly after my show
- that my legs won’t trim out like they need to
- being the fattest one on stage
I trained legs with the awesome Susan Groshek yesterday and was REALLY excited! After all, project All-I-Want-for-Christmas-is-a-tight-booty needs all the help it can get!
She…pushed me….hard….to describe this I decided to draw you a picture.
This was me on my way to the gym…
This is me later in the day…
This is me waking up this morning…
I think for Christmas I just want Glutamine and Mass amino acids.
I FINALLY listened to my trainer (Susan Groshek) and got the supps she recommended. This was after the flabbergasted *GASP* I got from Michelle when she found out I wasn’t taking them haha! She whipped me in shape fast!
What I’m taking:
- Beverly Int’l Ultra 40s
- Beverly Int’l Mass Aminos
I have learned that they help speed recovery. I can DEFINITELY tell the difference. I’m a believer!! I am also a believer of listening to my trainer. Ha!
“Massage in a bottle”, eh Michelle?! 😉
Super Sonic Week continues! Yesterday, I didn’t want to go to the gym, but I did. As a result of Michelle’s prodding and my commitment to my Super Sonic Promise, I was actually able to get PRs (Personal Bests) on every exercise.
Today, was training with Susan Groshek. She pushed me and I let her! I really gave everything I had, I tried not to rest at all (but had to a few times – she really pushed me today!!) and was able to complete an entire hour virtually non-stop! She gave me more weight, high pace, and I gave it right back!
It’s Bikini or Bust‘s: Super Sonic Week, y’all!! Enjoy meeting your list of goals for this week no matter how small or large! Let me see what you’re made of!
Live to the fullest.
[Training day 100]
I must be such a creature of habit and routine, because if anything changes I seem to completely lose my mind!
This Saturday I am running the Gobble Hobble 5k, so I had to reschedule my Saturday morning training to Friday…at 6:30am.
I normally wake up at 5:00am, but this time I woke up at 4:00am to eat breakfast with my husband before he headed back to Base (Air Force). Then, after my QT, I packed my things and headed out to be tortured and slain by my trainer.
IT WAS SURPRISINGLY SO MUCH FUN!!
Brutal, but fun. She is such a fantastic trainer. I am very thankful that I found her.
After a hurried shower because I didn’t want to be late for work I realized….I forgot my pants….
Thankfully I had thought to take the dry cleaning today, so I pulled out a wrinkled skirt and smoothed it with my curling iron. Oh yeah, baby…who’s resourceful. I like to say I mentos’ed that situation.