I’m an all-in kinda girl. When I set my mind to do something I give it everything I’ve got and I don’t let up. I am a force, a fierce hurricane of ambition. With my baby now trying to walk everywhere and getting into everything and knowing I am only 3 months away from also having an infant in tow it has brought my hurricane to a stagnant stale air. I have felt fatalist and allowed my mind to think that if I can’t get it in consistently then what’s the point of getting it in at all? I mean TODAY I have time, but I probably wont again the whole rest of the week, so is it worth the energy?
The answer is…yes!
I am learning to break this bond I have on myself and learn to seize the 1 set of 50 squats and tomorrow a full run and maybe the next day nothing, but maybe a set of pushups or pull ups. Fitness is there for the taking and I am truly the only one stopping me.
I am going to write a challenge for myself, but its the kind that allows me to stop stressing and beating myself just because I can’t be on my previous bodybuilding rampage right now. Life changes…we have to learn to change with it and not against it.
Eventually I know I will have the time to reach all the crazy goals my heart desires, for now, life has me in a different place.
Today I had to take my dad to the airport. Naturally I was thinking days ahead about how I was going to eat my breakfast – food is almost all I think about now. My scheduled breakfast for today was egg whites and spinach. Thanks to the amazing Google, I found a healthy recipe from iateapie.net for little frittata muffins! They look so cute!
I tweaked it to work for my diet and taste buds, but kept pretty close to the original.
French toast flavored coffee, black and 6 of these little babies made me one happy competitor 🙂
Get my recipe from my kitchen at faithkeith.com OR get the ORIGINAL recipe here
I went on a snowboarding trip during prep and stayed on track! But when I came back I guess I felt like I had it under control and began the “oh just a couple pretzels to keep me sane” thing.
Before I knew it, I had eaten about 5 pretzels every night that week.
Then my trainer changed my diet. Ok, I thought…here is your fresh start. But I ran out of a couple items and didn’t hit the grocer so I was “improvising” and ended up eating my 4 oz chicken in between 2 slices of wheat bread…or exchanging my one rice cake for 2 pieces of peanut butter toast.
Monday morning was the moment of reckoning. Weigh in. I was mortified at the reading. Up 2 lbs.
5 weeks out and I am UP 2 lbs when I should have LOST 2 lbs!!!
Nothing can shake me from my diet today. Nothing. The weight of the sheer horror cloaks me. I must stay focused. It’s like Susan Dowse said, “The whole point is to [take] my body to a place it hasn’t been. To see what I am capable of….. Everything matters. Both the hunger and the indulging matter.”
I have remembered why I am dieting and training. I have reignited the fire of excellence. My goals are hanging on a plaque around my neck. I am ready to meet the challenge of the final 5 weeks and Lord-willing I WILL finish strong. Excitement and perseverance – Let’s do this.
I do this to my husband daily 😛
“Can I Just Smell Your Food?” How many of you have asked that question? hahaha
It’s funny and a non-dieter would never understand that we truly get satisfaction from smelling warm donuts or smelling your enchiladas or that juicy cheeseburger.
Becca from ihearteggs talked about this too so I KNOW I am not alone haha
Ah…sweet dieting… The dieting and mental resolve that this sport demands is the most difficult thing about this process. It is definitely one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I am so glad to be doing this – I have so much more respect for the women on stage. I used to think of some of them as “Barbies” and maybe even “ditz”, but now I know otherwise. Those girls are TOUGH. BEASTS. MACHINES. and the most dedicated people you will ever meet. Can I hear an Amen?!
I had my first real emotional breakdown of the figure training life.
After an amazing trip of snowboarding, I was talking about obsession which immediately backfired. I was so shocked at the comments everyone was making about how obsessed I am about my fitness journey. It hurt because not only have I been trying hard to NOT be obsessed (but focus on my walk with the Lord and just try to keep up), but I also had been terribly struggling with the diet and fitness lifestyle. I’ve been wanting to quit for weeks! But the sheer disdain I have against quitting has kept me from throwing in the towel.
This life is hard. I don’t like having my food dictate when or how I can party or have my leg day dictate when I can rock climb, or “no, I can’t go mountain biking, because I need to lift heavy tomorrow on shoulders”. I don’t like NOT eating Pansit (one of my favorite Filipino dishes) on Sunday afternoon with the family. I don’t enjoy going out to eat and having to be the pickiest person at the table.
This is a solo sport…but golly…who can do this alone? Not me.
I finally lost it. Husband to the rescue. Knowing that he is proud of me and even said he is in awe at what I am doing just makes this whole thing bearable.
“I don’t think anyone is more determined and tenacious than my wife”, thanks babe…I needed that.
Still praying for wisdom on how to continue (and how to hold it together 🙂 )
Jamie Eason posted her shoulder workout claiming a great pump, so naturally I wanted to incorporate this workout. 🙂
Staying focus lately has been difficult. Some moments it is EASY and I can envision the stage and the pros…other times I find it hard to squash the desire to look for a treaty munch. Focus, focus, focus I tell myself. Sometimes perusing pictures in my Oxygen mag or online at the pros helps jolt my attention back to hardcore mode.
I want to look lean. I don’t want to look (or FEEL) like I could have tried better.
Donloree recently told me, “Just draw a line in the sand and step over it and be done with the cheating.”
Here I go…I’m about to bust out my magazines and get my focus on! Gym time is up ahead, so this will be the fuel I need to prepare!
More than ever I am realizing how much I DON’T rely on God for the strength or wisdom in the normal stuff. I catch myself praying for the ability to say no to those yummy Filipino pastries my mom brings over and I pray for just one more rep on those heavies, but am I really leaning on Him for ALL my strength (Prov 3:5-6). More perspective check… I know that we can never be perfect and we WILL fall short, but it really is my duty as Christian to constantly strive to live to honor my God. So, then I hear myself say, “OK! Let’s do this! Read my Bible and apply His Word!”…and I have to stop once again to remind myself that I cannot do it apart from Him…that even in my “righteous” intentions I am not to do it in my own ability. *le sigh* Lord, help me. Work through me to live as You want me to live.
Every first Sunday of the month my church has a potluck lunch. I cooked a Canadian Stew to share, but weighed and measured my 5oz turkey+2Cups Spinach+1Tbsp Apple cider Vinegar+1Tbsp Olive oil for MY personal meal.
After church everyone lined up and was already going through the food line, while I made my way to the fridge to pull out my measured meal. All smiles because it is one of my FAVORITE meals of the day.
Enter fridge…no meal to be found….I tried to stay calm but I began to panic. I scanned the buffet table….OH MY GOSH!!! IT WAS ON THE TABLE NEXT TO THE SALADS!!! Someone had already taken some of it (they must have been adventurous because it looked disgusting). Nooooooo!!!!!
I had to laugh at myself for being panicky about losing 1 ounce of turkey and maybe a half cup of spinach. Oh the life of a figure athlete…
Next time I will clearly label it 🙂
The other day I was having a really downer day that was the sum of the previous two days that were also quite rough. My mood was down and out, I could tell I was very tense. I posted that the last 3 days were rough, then when my friend Donloree asked if I was staying hydrated, it hit me! I broke my water jug 4 days ago!!
I quickly downed the first 24 ounces and already was feeling a world of difference! I ran for more water…I am still in shock at what a difference water makes. I am on such a strict diet, that the smallest imbalance is magnified, so it should be no surprise that the dehydration was so largely impacting my well being.
Beginner’s tip: STAY HYDRATED
Ok so this diet is really getting to my mood. I noticed that lately I am really tense as it gets closer to my meal time. I eat every 3 hours ON THE HOUR, so my body knows when to expect food. I have been way less tolerant. I’ve really been trying to watch it, but I am around SO MANY people and a lot of family ALL the time, so it’s not like I can just keep to myself. It’s hard to stay focused! I am trying really hard to think before I speak, or try to stay at my desk until I absolutely HAVE to…or avoid people unless I am mentally prepared to smile and breathe.
Makes me sad – I don’t want to be like this, nor do I want people to think I’m just crabby! 😛 How do you combat this?
Susan mentioned St John’s Wart for it’s calming affects. At this point I want to try anything and everything – I don’t like this mood business! 🙂
- The brutal diet and saying no to foods I love, I can handle that.
- The 4am workouts when I just want to sleep, I can handle that.
- The double workout days even in bad weather, I can handle that.
- The mood swings negatively affecting the ones I love?….not worth it. Need a solution, stat.
I now have SET rest day that I will treat just as seriously and immovable as my ON days – I know…it’s about time, right?
Sunday – REST
This weekend I will be writing down everything I do in a typical week, then assessing it for things to possibly eliminate. My trusty friend Michelle gave me wise tips that there is always something to cut out….and you know what she said??…..she flat out told me I don’t get enough sleep! The audacity! haha no jk…She is so right… She had told me to really try to get more sleep before and I “did”. I thought increasing my usual 5-6 hours up to 6.5 hours was a great move 😛 Alas….It is not sustaining me. As proof…my body crashed this week.
So it’s time for change!! Any tips on cutting corners is most welcome, so do share!
Cutting corners in anything…cooking, showering, sleeping…ok just kidding about that last one 🙂