I had my first real emotional breakdown of the figure training life.
After an amazing trip of snowboarding, I was talking about obsession which immediately backfired. I was so shocked at the comments everyone was making about how obsessed I am about my fitness journey. It hurt because not only have I been trying hard to NOT be obsessed (but focus on my walk with the Lord and just try to keep up), but I also had been terribly struggling with the diet and fitness lifestyle. I’ve been wanting to quit for weeks! But the sheer disdain I have against quitting has kept me from throwing in the towel.
This life is hard. I don’t like having my food dictate when or how I can party or have my leg day dictate when I can rock climb, or “no, I can’t go mountain biking, because I need to lift heavy tomorrow on shoulders”. I don’t like NOT eating Pansit (one of my favorite Filipino dishes) on Sunday afternoon with the family. I don’t enjoy going out to eat and having to be the pickiest person at the table.
This is a solo sport…but golly…who can do this alone? Not me.
I finally lost it. Husband to the rescue. Knowing that he is proud of me and even said he is in awe at what I am doing just makes this whole thing bearable.
“I don’t think anyone is more determined and tenacious than my wife”, thanks babe…I needed that.
Still praying for wisdom on how to continue (and how to hold it together 🙂 )